


Nature Trail to Hell

by bookwan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Camping, Chaos Ensues, M/M, basically seventeen are split in two and end up camping in the same spot, relationships will be updated as i go, this is basically just a massive crackfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-11-18 23:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11300928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookwan/pseuds/bookwan
Summary: "They've set up a tent," Jisoo says, voice shaking, staring at the others in growing horror. "They're camping."(A group of guys venture into the forest to find some solitude. To their dismay, they find something quite a bit different.)[HIATUS]





	1. welcome to the jungle

**Author's Note:**

> @everyone who told me to 'stop writing angst you depressing little shit': here you go

 

"Welcome to hell, everyone," Chan says as he stares at the trees that stretch on for miles ahead of him, dread coursing through his veins. Jihoon elbows him harshly in the gut, muttering something about 'pretending this might actually be a nice bonding experience'. It won't be, Chan knows - the best bonding experience he's ever had with his older brother is when Jihoon left on an exchange trip to Japan in high school, and even _that_ was painful; Jihoon took Chan's toothbrush with him on that trip, and the younger's teeth have never felt as disgusting as they did in that one week.

"Hell doesn't look half-bad - well, I think..." Wonwoo says. He squints at the skyline like he can't quite see it, and Jisoo lets out a long sigh.

"Wonwoo, did you forget your glasses?" he asks. Wonwoo scowls at him, but doesn't reply.  "I'll take that as a yes," Jisoo mutters.

"Uh-uh," Minghao butts in, "no way. He was wearing glasses when we stopped at the gas station to pee." He shivers at that, as though the memory of the gas station haunts him. Chan doesn't blame him; gas station bathrooms are the least trustworthy places you can find yourself in. God knows how many weird fungi and bacteria crawl around on your skin when you're just trying to pee.

"Those were _fake,_ " Wonwoo grumbles, glaring at Minghao. "Ever heard of fashion?"

"Something you clearly aren't educated on," Minghao retorts. They go on like this for a solid two minutes, bickering back and forth, the others too interested in the drama to interrupt. After a while, Jeonghan finally steps out of the minivan, rolls his eyes, takes one long, dramatic sigh, and holds up a single finger. Chan's shocked by how quickly the two rivals fall silent at the mere movement of a hand, and suddenly he wonders just how much power Yoon Jeonghan holds.

He doesn't know most of the guys well, except for Jihoon. After all, Jihoon was the one who dragged Chan on this trip (though mostly because their parents wanted some family bonding time) and shoved him straight into a group of college guys who, for the most part, intimidated the hell out of him. Except Jisoo, of course - the kid's as pure and naive as a Christian, homeschooled second grader. 

"So," Jeonghan says, tugging his long hair out of its ponytail, "Arguing already? This'll be interesting." He grins, and there's a scary glint in his eyes that almost makes Chan want to run for his life. He doesn't, of course, because Jihoon, as the older sibling, has already put the fear of God into him if he dares venture away. Jihoon says it's out of affection. Chan's ninety-nine percent sure it's out of pure hatred and a false sense of superiority. 

The lake is God-knows-how-far into the woods. He knows Wonwoo's already tried convincing Jihoon and Jeonghan to change plans. ' _Maybe we could just, you know, stay in a normal campsite where we might not die of natural causes?'_ he distinctly remembers the older boy asking.

_'That's a terrible Jesus-fucking idea, Wonwoo, what's wrong with you?'_ is the well-crafted reply he received from Jeonghan. Jihoon, on the other hand, replied with a mere _'Wonwoo, nobody cares what you think.'_ _  
_

So yes, Jihoon and Jeonghan are completely dead-set on going to a strange lake in the middle of the woods for their quality bonding time.  

It takes them twenty minutes to walk there. Chan doesn't like the idea of just leaving the van, even if it is some hippie van that Jeonghan bought from an extremely sketchy car dealership ('We look like we're from Scooby Doo or some shit,' Minghao comments once, but the rest of the conversation doesn't go well for him).

"We are _not_ setting up next to the lake," Wonwoo says, arms crossed, once they reach the water. His bags are dumped on the ground and he glares - or squints? - at the lake, which seems surprisingly clean. "It's fucking Mosquito Central over here."

"He's not wrong," Jisoo says. "We'll camp a little farther away, just so all the bugs don't get at us."

"Jisoo," Minghao says, "You do realize that there's going to be bugs literally _everywhere?_ You know, big nasty spiders with their long, hairy legs. Out here, they're just as big as dinner plates, sometimes! And then there's all the gross roaches and beetles that'll lay eggs on you when you sleep-"

" _Ew!"_  Wonwoo shrieks. "Don't be so nasty, Minghao!"

It's only the six of them on this trip. They decided against bringing more people; it was, more or less, supposed to be a chill trip with college friends. Chan's the only exception to the rule, since Jihoon basically forced him along. Jisoo and Jeonghan are the oldest, two halves of one whole. Jeonghan, on one hand, is completely and utterly demonic, while Jisoo is probably a guardian angel sent to make sure Jeonghan doesn't accidentally destroy the planet with his antics. Chan wishes that Jisoo was the leader of this trip, but seeing as the kid has zero survival skills, it's probably for the best.

Next are Wonwoo and Jihoon. Wonwoo's book-smart, top of his class, but he's far too sarcastic for his own good despite staying relatively quiet. Jihoon is just plain scary - even Chan, who's lived with Jihoon his entire life, still feels intimidated some days. Minghao's a year younger, just as sarcastic as Wonwoo and the least enthusiastic person about everything, particularly this camping trip (though he might be at a tie with Chan).

Lastly is Chan, Jihoon's cute little brother - according to Minghao. Chan hasn't grown out of his angsty teenager years yet, especially when he's forced into a camping trip with his brother's dramatic friends.

They set up their tents a fair distance from the lake anyway, and Jeonghan sorts out the groups. Unfortunately, the eldest's priorities are obvious when he picks out the first pair, himself and Jisoo, then the sibling duo. When he announces this, Wonwoo and Minghao both stare at him in pure horror.

"I'm _not_ sharing a tent with him!" Wonwoo cries, at the same time Minghao whines, "but Wonwoo's _mean!_ "

"Suck it up, buttercups," Jeonghan says, and him and Jisoo slip into their tent together. They stay in there for a very suspicious amount of time, and eventually Minghao leans over to Chan and whispers something that Minghao's grandmother would certainly not approve of. Chan laughs anyway, mostly because he's not actually sure what Jeonghan and Jisoo are really up to.

-

The true adventure begins when they wake up at six o'clock the next morning to chaotic noises, which could be likened to a flock of geese dying.

"What the _fuck_ is that?" Wonwoo asks loudly, poking his head out of his tent. 

"Language!" Jisoo hisses, poking his head out of his own tent a moment later. They listen to the sounds and Jisoo eventually unzips the tent to go check it out. He's gone for five minutes, and when he comes back his face is white, like he's seen a ghost. "There's _people_ ," he whispers. Wonwoo groans.

"Of course there's people, shitwad," he says, and Jisoo winces at Wonwoo's use of language. "But what are they _doing_?"

"They've set up a tent," Jisoo answers. "They're _camping._ "

At this point, Jihoon - who Jisoo previously assumed was still asleep - unzipped his own tent and popped his head through, glaring out at them. "Oh _hell_ no," he says. "You're lying. Who else would set up in the exact same area as us? I'm pretty sure Jeonghan just threw a dart at a-" he quickly cuts himself off- "nevermind, I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

Wonwoo ignores this new piece of information and leaves his tent, clambering to his feet. "I don't believe this," he says, "I have to go see." Jihoon goes, too, and they return looking like they're sick.

Eventually when the ruckus refuses to stop, all six of them simultaneously leave their tents and follow back to the source. Jeonghan motions for them to hide behind a bush, and they do so with little hesitation, spying on the newcomers with no shame. They don't seem particularly interesting - Jisoo counts six in total, and they have one long gray tent set up, one of those dumb ten-person tents. He scoffs. They're yelling and screaming about God-knows-what, blaring loud pop music and setting out all of their stuff, which is surprisingly not much.

Jisoo adjusts his position just as one of the boys wanders off to turn the music down, and everyone within a ten-meter radius hears the clear snap of a twig under his feet.

"The fuck was that?" one of the newcomers asks, a tall kid wearing expression like he had just tasted Jihoon's cooking (which Jisoo knows is disgusting from personal experience). All of the newcomers look towards the source of the noise - the bush the six are currently crouched behind, spying.

"Abort mission!" Chan hisses, and one by one they make an attempt at escaping, trying to run whilst still being crouched down. This, however, fails miserably and every single one of the newcomers see them.

" _Stalkers!"_ one of them shrieks. "Get them!"

After that, everything is blown into chaos.

All six of the newcomers run at the six other boys, who have now given up on their crouching stance and are instead running for their lives. Jisoo hears a lot of screaming as he runs, swerving through the trees, though he's not really sure who it's coming from - maybe himself, he doesn't know.  

Lucky for them, the newcomers don't have much stamina, and they lose them quickly. Minghao reaches the campsite first, somersaulting into his tent and zipping it up, breathing hard. Wonwoo screams at him when he reaches the site, telling him to open the tent back up, but Minghao refuses. Jihoon, on his short, stubby legs, reaches the site last and for a minute or so they all sit there, shocked, the only sound being their heavy breathing.

Exactly a minute after that, one of the newcomers bursts into the site screaming bloody murder and holding a spatula like a sword, swinging it around wildly.

"Ahhhhh!" he yells, brandishing the spatula, waving it around like he's being attacked. His black hair falls into his eyes which are nearly squeezed shut. "You can't get away that easily!" After a moment, he points the spatula at Jisoo, eyes narrowed. "Spies!" he yells. "Why have you been spying?!"

Jisoo isn't sure how he should answer, but luckily Jeonghan takes over. "We were _spying_ because you're in our campsite, you absolute dumbass," he says, swiping his brow, still panting. The newcomer stops dead and lowers the spatula, brows furrowed in confusion.  

" _Your_ campsite?" he asks. "Dude, this is the wilderness. It's just a massive free-for-all out here. Don't get pissy because we decided to camp here."

At this point two more of the newcomers run in, both holding plastic knives, teeth bared. When they see the other one, they stop dead. "Soonyoung!" one of them hisses. Soonyoung whips his head around. "I thought we agreed to attack them!"

"That was _your_ idea, Seokmin!" the guy - Soonyoung - stage-whispers. "I just wanted to scare them! C'mon, wasn't it funny, how they were all running like terrified little chicke-"

"Get out of here!" Jihoon interrupts, glaring at the three. "Go camp somewhere else! There's plenty other places you could go, and we were here first anyway! We don't want your company!"

The third scoffs at them. "You're a _real_ cheerful bunch," he says. "C'mon, why do we have to leave? Can't we just be friends?" He starts humming the tune from Toy Story under his breath, but Seokmin elbows him and he falls silent.

"Jun," he whispers, though not very well, "they're kinda scary. Maybe we should just-"

"We are not leaving this forest!" Soonyoung announces. "You can't make us leave. Let's all get along, now, shall we?" he taps his chin with his free hand, as though he's deep in thought. "Hmm, maybe we should do a little introduction, get to know each other, you know?"

The group stares at each other in tense silence for a moment. Jisoo can clearly see how they want to force the newcomers out - but it's impossible. Minghao still hasn't moved from the tent, meanwhile, and is holding the zipper so Wonwoo can't open it no matter how hard he tries. After a long, painful moment, Jihoon lets out a groan.

"Fine," Jihoon spits, glaring up at Soonyoung. "Here's your introduction. I'm Jihoon. Long-haired kid is Jeonghan, that dumb-looking one over there is Chan, emo kid is Wonwoo, that, well... that guy is Jisoo, and Minghao's hiding in his tent like a little goddamn baby."

"Am not!" Minghao cries out, his voice muffled.

"Are so!" Jihoon yells back.

Soonyoung looks all of them over for a bit. Then, suddenly, he giggles, pointing his spatula at Jihoon. "You remind me of a badger," he says. Jihoon blinks at him. "Y'know, they look all soft and cute and adorable but really they're just trash-eating assholes? Yeah."

Jihoon's mouth opens, then closes, and he hears Wonwoo add in a quiet voice, "well, he's not wrong..."

"It's a compliment!" Soonyoung says suddenly, eyeing Jihoon's glare warily. His voice trembles just slightly. "Yeah, I meant it as a compliment! You... you're fiercer than you look!"

"Fine," Jihoon says, but the glare doesn't disappear from his face.

"Anyway," Soonyoung says with a tiny, humourless laugh, "I'm Kwon Soonyoung. My stage name's Hoshi, though - I'm a dancer. It's a pretty professional job, you know, I've been training for a few years now and just got-"

"Get to the point," Jihoon says, teeth clenched.

"R-right," Soonyoung mumbles. "That's Seokmin over there, and next to him is Junhui. There's like, four more of us but frankly they're all slow as fuck and probably gave up. Actually, maybe we should make sure Mingyu didn't break his skull on a rock..."

"I have an idea!" Jisoo says cheerily from his spot next to Jeonghan. All eyes turn to him, and Jihoon's expression warns him not to say anything stupid, but Jisoo could not care less. "Why don't we all have a nice little campfire? Then we can all get a nice introduction, get to know each other... I think we're going to be spending a lot of time together."

"God, do I hope not," Jeonghan mutters. Soonyoung grins.

"Great idea," he says, much to everyone-except-Jisoo's dismay, "let's plan for a fire tonight, then."

Jeonghan has never regretted throwing a dart at a map so much in his entire life.


	2. if you can't beat 'em

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon is angry and Mingyu can't make a fire (or wink).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (aka shitty intro chapter to team two)

"He called me a trash-eating asshole!" Jihoon says as he paces around their campsite ten minutes later, steaming with anger. The others watch in silence, not really sure if they should intervene.

"I'm sure he didn't mean for it to be rude," Jisoo says, his voice tentative. Jihoon whips his head around to glare at the older boy, who's sitting cross-legged on the grass next to his tent, playing with Jeonghan's hair. Jisoo blinks innocently at him, which only makes Jihoon's eyes narrow further.

"What do you mean, he didn't mean for it to be rude?" Jihoon hisses, seething. "He called me an asshole! In what way is that not rude? We had never even met and the first thing he does, after nearly assaulting me with a spatula, is call me an asshole!"

"Be glad he didn't assault you with the spatula," Wonwoo says from inside his unzipped tent, where he's playing a card game with Chan. "I know I would've." Chan snorts at this, and Jihoon turns his glare to his little brother, but doesn't say anything. Instead, he storms out of the site, huffing loudly. Jeonghan giggles when he's out of earshot.

"Damn," he says, "dramatic. Maybe he should've been a Theatre Major."

Jihoon took a gap year after high school to decide exactly what he wanted to do with his life. His and Chan's parents had always wanted them to go into something more important and formal-like - they were completely dead-set on at least one of their children becoming a lawyer. Jihoon _really_ hated that idea.

And so, he took a gap year. And when it was over, Jihoon said, 'fuck this', and became a Music Production Major.

Their parents haven't looked at him the same way since.

The only issue with that choice is that now, their parents have passed on the expectations of becoming something important to Chan. Of all the things Jihoon has managed to ruin for him, Chan was at least hoping he wouldn't fuck this over, but he must not have knocked on wood.

"Am I the only one legitimately worried for Spatula Guy's life?" Minghao asks, glancing towards the direction Jihoon walked off. He's lazing around on the grass, fiddling with his watch. "To be fair, telling someone they're a 'trash-eating asshole' isn't the best first impression, but, like, still. Remember that time Wonwoo replaced his shaving cream with whipped cream? Poor Jeon almost got decapitated."

Wonwoo shivers, as though the memory frightens him. "Don't remind me," he says.

"At this point, I don't think I'd worry too much about their lives," Jeonghan mutters. There's still a faint buzz of noise from the newcomers' direction, yells, crashes and sometimes screams that make them wonder if someone might be dying over there. "If only they would just _shut the fuck up._ Even for, like, ten seconds. I'd be perfectly happy with that. Can't wait to meet all of them so I can bash their faces in."

"Please don't bash a stranger's face in at the campfire," Jisoo says. He's managed to successfully braid Jeonghan's hair - a long, fancy braid which no one is quite sure how Jisoo learned to do. Jisoo knows a lot of strange things; but as far as actually practical skills go, not so much. Wonwoo glances over at the two and makes eye contact with Jeonghan.

"You'll have to restrain him," he says with absolute certainty.

-

"I can't believe we agreed to this," Chan murmurs to Jisoo as they watch the newcomers attempt at making a fire. The entire group of them, newcomers and all, are sitting on chairs and-slash-or the ground, watching the centre. The tallest newcomer has insisted that he can build a fire with no trouble - and yet here they've been for ten minutes, watching the guy mutter to himself as he rubs two sticks together vigorously, trying to get at least a spark.

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em," Jisoo whispers back to Chan, hiding a laugh. Tall Guy proceeds to trip over a log.

"Okay, you know what, I think maybe _I'll_ do this," Wonwoo says after a moment, stepping up to the logs. Tall Guy sighs.

"Alright," he says, "even though I think I was doing just fine. I'm Mingyu, by the way." He sticks out his hand to shake, grinning. Wonwoo glares at the hand and slowly, Mingyu retracts it again and laughs sheepishly, shuffling his feet beneath him.

"Jeon Wonwoo," Wonwoo says, the glare on his face not lessening, and that's the end of that conversation.

Jeonghan casually strolls up to him and says in a hushed tone, "he's totally into you. Did you _see_ that wink?"

"I thought he was having an eye convulsion," Wonwoo says with a nonchalant shrug, glancing over at Mingyu, who has now accidentally knocked over Jisoo's cup of water and is apologizing profusely, stumbling to pick up the red cup, and Jisoo is trying extremely hard not to laugh.

"Yeah, but it was a damn sexy eye convulsion," Jeonghan says, smirking. "Listen, I hate these guys with my whole entire soul and that one... he seems a little-" Mingyu drops the cup of water just as he's picking it up- "well, _special_... but there's always the good old one night stand..."

Wonwoo swings around and glowers at Jeonghan. "Shut up before I shove your head into the goddamn campfire," he says. Jeonghan laughs in spite of it and Wonwoo makes a slashing motion against his throat before turning back to the fire. It's lit within a minute - flawless compared to Mingyu's piteous attempt.

"Great!" Spatula Guy, Soonyoung, says as Wonwoo and Jeonghan take their seats. "Okay, we should do a game to get to know each other!"

"How about Never Have I Ever?" one of the newcomers suggests. 

"You mean the _sex_ version?" Jihoon asks. "No thanks, I'd rather not tell strangers about my frisky time."

"Frisky time." The guy giggles. 

"Why don't we just go around the circle," Jisoo says, ignoring the two, "list our names and... god, I don't know, a random fact about ourselves. I'll start. I'm Hong Jisoo, and I like anime. Next?"

"Kim Mingyu," says the tall boy. "I'm tall."

"No fucking duh," Minghao mutters. Jisoo elbows him in the stomach, and he lets out a tiny cry of over-exaggerated pain, drawing attention from the newcomers. He glares at them and they quickly avert their eyes.

"Wen Junhui," one says at one point, brushing hair out of his face and making an expression halfway between a smile and a smirk. "I was born in China, but the colleges here are better, as far as the music industry goes."

"You're Chinese?" Minghao asks, perking up immediately. He proceeds to say something in Cantonese, which Junhui responds to. They go back and forth like this for a minute, as the others stare around in awkward silence.

"What are they saying?" one of the newcomers, a boy with floppy hair and headphones nestled comfortably around his neck, whispers to Jihoon, who turns to him with a crinkled nose.

"Do you think I speak Chinese?" he asks. "How the hell would I know?"

"Okay!" Jisoo says after a moment, interrupting Junhui and Minghao's Chinese conversation. Both roll their eyes at him and make a weird sort of eye contact. "Moving on."

"I'm Boo Seungkwan," the one next to Junhui says. "I do a fantastic Mariah Carey impression. Want me to show you?"

"No," most of the circle says in unison. Seungkwan huffs and sits back, crossing his arms. Headphone Guy puts his arm around him as though to comfort him, and almost immediately Seungkwan's frown disappears. Jihoon holds back a snort at that - Seungkwan is wearing the heaviest heart-eyes he's ever seen, and sometimes Jisoo and Jeonghan can get very expressive with their eyes.

"I'm Vernon," Headphone Guy says. His voice sounds lazy, almost, and the ends of his words seem to drag on longer than they should. "I'm a rapper on Soundcloud."

"Hansol's _really_ successful," Seungkwan says with a long, content sigh, still gazing at Vernon - who hasn't actually glanced at Seungkwan this entire time. 

"He means Vernon," Vernon says quickly, shooting a glare at Seungkwan. "Don't call me Hansol. But, yeah, I guess I'm doing pretty good."

"Name's Lee Seokmin," says the one next to Vernon. "I'm training to be a vet. I was going to be a doctor, actually, but animals are way cuter and don't intimidate me as much as humans do."

"You're intimidated by humans?" Wonwoo asks, quirking an eyebrow. "You _are_ a human."

"But I'm a good human," Seokmin says. "I know a lot of people who are legit Satan spawn." Quieter, he adds, "please don't be one of them." He sits back as though he said nothing and flashes a bright smile.

"I think you guys already know me," Spatula Guy Soonyoung says when everyone else has gone, "but just in case, I'm Kwon Soonyoung-slash-Hoshi and I dance. I'm really sorry about the whole spatula incident, by the way."

"I'm just sorry I didn't get it on camera," Jeonghan mutters.


	3. team dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new guy comes rolling in through town (aka the campsites). At 5AM. On a golf cart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short unedited chapter because I just got home from camping? how about yes

The next day, a man comes through the campsite of Jeonghan and the rest of his friends. On a golf cart. At five in the morning.

"I made it, bitches!" the man yells, stopping the golf cart and throwing his hands in the air. He whacks one on the roof of the golf cart and lets out a pitiful cry of pain, retracting his hand, but the smile doesn't wipe off his face. The golf cart makes a strange sound that doesn't seem safe.

Slowly, Jeonghan peers out of his tent, glaring at whoever disturbed his beauty sleep, followed by Jihoon, blinking in the bright sunlight. The man's face goes white when he notices them. "You," he says, eyes widening in horror, "are not my bitches." His hands lower to the ground and he cringes.

"No, we really _aren't,_ " Jihoon says sharply, at the same time Jeonghan asks, "Sweet Jesus fuck, there's more of them?" 

"I'm sorry!" the guy gasps. "I'm really sorry!" He runs a shaky hand through his hair. "But do you know if there's another group of guys somewhere near here? I had to-"

"You mean the idiots over there?" Jeonghan asks, pointing towards the other campsite. "You _must_ be with them," he adds, "I mean, one of them almost assaulted my friends with a spatula yesterday, and now you drive a golf cart through our campsite at-" he glances at his watch- "oh, look at that. Five twenty-six AM. Bright and early. You two must have something in common, like, I don't know, being annoying as actual fuck?"

"I said I was sorry," the man grumbles. "And those are my _friends_ you're talking about, man. I could say that you guys all have sticks so far up your asses you can taste them, but I'm too nice for that." He grins devilishly, running a hand through his hair again. Jeonghan wonders if the guy's got lice or something.

"You literally just said it anyway," Jihoon deadpans. The guy glares at him. 

"I know that, dude, I'm not stupid," he says, in a tone Jihoon finds quite stupid. "Now, if you party-poopers don't mind, I'll be leaving now." The golf cart whirs back to life and he starts with a snail pace in the direction of his friends. Jihoon and Jeonghan watch as he crawls away, any amusement hidden by their deathly tiredness. 

Five minutes later a loud whooping is heard from the other campsite, much like the sounds of dying birds from the previous day. "Cheollie!" the others cheer loudly, apparently unaware that their neighbors are trying to sleep. Jihoon growls and steps out of his tent, squeezing his eyes shut to protect from the sun. He glances at Jeonghan, who nods briefly, and that's all the confirmation he needs to walk across to their campsite.

The other campsite falls dead silent as Jihoon steps into it. The long gray tent looks like it's about to collapse now, and there's clutter _everywhere._ The boys are all crowding Golf Cart Man, hugging him, etcetera. Golf Cart Man turns and sets a deathly glare at Jihoon, but it falls from his face as Jihoon shoots one a million times worse at him. Soonyoung jumps up and down at the sight of him, like a little kid seeing Spiderman, but Jihoon pays no attention to him.

"We've got a request," he announces, staring around at the others. "All of us would really, _really_ enjoy it if you would all shut the fuck up. It's literally, like, five right now, and-"

"Five twenty-nine, actually," Seokmin interrupts. Jihoon turns his glare on him instead, and he blinks at Jihoon with wide, innocent eyes. 

"As I was saying," he continues, and motions towards the Golf Cart Man, "whoever the fuck _you_ are, please refrain from driving your late grandmother's golf cart from 1966 through our campsite. Ever. We have pocketknives, kid."

Golf Cart Man snorts. "Who're you callin' a kid?" he asks. "You're like, four feet tall." His friends laugh at that, to Jihoon's anger.

"Five foot five," Jihoon grumbles under his breath, but nobody hears him. 

"Anyway, _kid,_ " the man says lazily, clearing his throat, "I'm Seungcheol, and I'm with these idiots over here." He motions to the rest of the crew. Junhui pouts and shoves him at the insult, but he pays no attention, eyes not moving off of Jihoon.

"He's, like, our dad," Hansol adds unhelpfully. Jihoon hasn't realized until now the guy's paying attention - he looks completely tuned out to the world, wearing big, expensive headphones and playing on a Nintendo 64, not even glancing up while he's talking. "Except, y'know, not biological. Like... like our Team Dad."

"Team Dad! Team Dad!" Soonyoung chants, pumping his fist into the air and Seokmin soon follows suit, chanting mindlessly. Jihoon cringes at the loud sound as everyone else joins in too, minus Seungcheol. "Team Dad! Team Dad!" 

"What do you people not understand about 'it's five in the morning and we have to sleep'?" Jihoon asks, over the loud sound of the chanting. Seungcheol seems completely unaffected, like he's used to this, the boys crowding him while still chanting. Jihoon's words are to no effect, as they seem not to hear him. He sighs, and takes one deep breath, before yelling at the top of his lungs, " _shut the fuck up!"_ _  
_

"Team-"

Seokmin cuts himself off when he realizes everyone else is silent, and suddenly it's as though you could hear a pin drop. Jihoon relishes in the silence and takes another long breath in. "Listen up, freaks," he says, "if we _ever_ get woken up by you people again, Jeonghan and I will decapitate you, put your heads on stakes and stand them up all around our campsite with no shame. It's nothing personal. Got it?"

"Got it..." the rest mumble; the exception is Seungcheol, who's staring at Jihoon with fury in his eyes. 

"Listen, Babyhands," he hisses, and Jihoon glances down at his hands subconsciously, frowning at the cruel nickname. "I will not let your stuffy-ass group of losers ruin this for us, okay?" He towers over Jihoon, eyes narrowed, and it would be intimidating if Jihoon wasn't just as devilish.

"You just started a war," he murmurs, a light smile painting his face. "And I've never lost a battle, _Cheollie_."

-

"You did _what?_ " Chan hisses when Jihoon returns, a smug expression on his face. 

"Those idiots need to get what they deserve, Channie," Jihoon says, reaching up to affectionately ruffle Chan's hair. Chan flinches at the sudden fondness - Jihoon never goes near Chan unless he's being forced to. Jihoon, however, continues to smile condescendingly. 

"Jihoon," Jisoo asks, a little anxious, "what exactly do you think they deserve?" He's sitting by Jeonghan, hand in hand, and Jeonghan's head rests against Jisoo's shoulder, hair falling in perfect cascades. His free hand smooths Jeonghan's hair, running his fingers through it gently. 

Jihoon opens his mouth, then closes it with the smile falling from his face, eyes narrowing in thought. Again he opens his mouth, but no words come out. 

"I... I don't know," he chokes out eventually, pouting. It would be cute if not for the expression of pure fury that's behind his eyes. "But we have to do something, don't we? They're ruining our trip! We need to stop them somehow!"

"This is getting too serious, man," Minghao says with a long yawn. "I've been dead-tired ever since goddamn Golf Cart Boy rolled through here. Now all I can hear is the dumb birds screaming at each other and I can't even take a nap." He pauses for a moment, so they all hear the screeching of the birds in the trees above them. "They seem nice and all, but they need to take some chill pills."

Wonwoo scoffs. "Honestly, Minghao, you're thick. They're not 'nice and all', they're just too stupid to be mean. Puh- _lease,_ if we gave them some chill pills they'd probably overdose by accident." He tilts his head at the Chinese boy. "Is it just because of your new best friend, Jin?"

"Jun," Minghao corrects, though faintly under his breath. "And _no,_ it's most certainly not. He's pretty cool, though." He sighs wistfully. "I wish there were more Chinese people around here."

Chan blinks. "If you miss seeing Chinese people so much," he asks, running a hand through his hair, "then why would you move to Korea?"

"Chinese education is _shit_ , my dear Channie," Minghao says in a knowing tone. "Korean education? Not so much." He rubs his eyes and yawns again. "Apparently the school system doesn't work out for everyone, though." He glances for a split second at the opposite campsite, where there's still a faint commotion. Chan follows his eyes.

"S'pose not," he murmurs.

-

Throughout the course of the day, they stumble upon Golf Cart Man Seungcheol multiple times. Actually, it's more like he stumbles upon them; he manages to step foot in their campsite within every single hour, making some excuse to get through. Everything, from _'I think I dropped something back there'_ to _'there was a strange noise over here that made Seungkwan really scared'_. By the sixth time, Jeonghan found himself completely fed up.

"Listen," he hisses when Seungcheol opens his mouth to make another excuse. Seungcheol glances down at the white chalk Jeonghan brandishes like a knife and slowly, painstakingly shuts his mouth. "I don't want you to step a single foot on our property ever again." Seungcheol opens his mouth again, probably to make a dumb comment about how _'you don't own this place',_ but he doesn't have time, because Jeonghan latches onto his arm and drags him off.

They stop close to the bushes where the group first spied on the newcomers and Jeonghan drops Seungcheol's wrist. He's left a red imprint from how tight he held on, and Seungcheol winces, rubbing the arm gently.

"This," Jeonghan says, drawing a shaky line with the chalk on the grass under their feet, "is the property line. If any of your friends cross the line, well... just don't cross the line. Same goes for me and my friends. Okay?"

Now, Seungcheol finds the time to talk. "It's not your property, kid," he blurts out. Jeonghan glowers at him, but he continues. "Just because you guys got here, oh, an hour before my friends did doesn't mean the entire forest belongs to you."

"Never said it did," he replies, brushing his long hair out of his face. "Just don't cross our property. Ever."

"Fine," Seungcheol mutters, but he doesn't sound convinced. "By the way, pretty boy, it's usually polite to introduce yourself before going off alone with a stranger."

Jeonghan's eyes narrow further, but he shoves a reluctant hand towards Seungcheol. "Yoon Jeonghan," he says, and grips Seungcheol's hand hard when he shakes it, nails digging into his skin.

"Yoon Jeonghan," Seungcheol repeats in a lilting voice, shaking off the ache in his hand from Jeonghan's nails. "Yoon Jeonghan. I think we'll get along just fine."


End file.
